For most of my adult life, I have been the unfortunate victim of some, well actually a ton, of bad luck. Fortunately for you, I have been convinced by many to start cataloging my misfortune. Hopefully this blog will be able to bring you some amusement, as I can assure you that the events I re-tell won't bring me much...
My friends have begun referring to me as Murphy due to my seeming continued bad luck. Some have even referred to it as a curse. I don't necessarily believe in curses, and I don't necessarily believe in luck. However, I do believe in probability. And the probability of the cloud of crap that has followed me around being 'random coincidence' is a tough rationale to swallow.
Now, I don't want to give the wrong impression. I am a successful and healthy male in my twenties. I am not attempting to say that I have it the worst. There are those who do not have their health, or the opportunities that I have had presented to me in my life and I am very cognizant of this fact.
That being said, FML this is getting ridiculous. My misfortune is more of the "you've got to be fucking kidding me", or the "No, that didn't actually happen..." variety. It is a seemingly endless stream of nuisance and inconvenience that I can only assume is the universe's way of toughening me up to handle some serious adversity later in life, like a zombie apocalypse, or a world without peanut butter.
I hope you enjoy my accounts of the ridiculousness that I live through. If after reading anything here you feel the need to scream, "I call bullshit!". I can assure you that any of the shit I may talk doesn't come from any bull.